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Dear Uncle Sam:

Please consider bailing me out! I’ve been reading where you bailed out a women by the name of Fannie Mae and a man by the name Freddie Mae. I hear they wasted the first money you gave them, and now that you’ve bailed them out, they are using the bail out money to go on recreational excursions. If this is true, they both need firing.

   I talked to my representative in Washington and he said I didn’t qualify for a bailout. He said I had to be millions and millions of dollars in debt to be eligible for bailout money. It seems to me, that a lifetime of work ought to qualify me for a little extra money to pay a few small bills. Uncle, you know as well as I do that Mae and Mae doled out money to parasites and to people who were, with their income, incapable of paying their mortgages. And what “takes the cake” is that these thrift spenders of tax money are now saying that they are going to need several billions of dollars more to survive. Uncle, if you will bail me and my neighbors out, then we promise we won’t ask for more money.
   Incidentally, Uncle, I see where the automakers want twenty-five billion of our tax dollars to pay for the health care of future retirees of the auto industry. In good country talk, this is pure hogwash. How about reversing this and letting them pay for our health care. Now do I have this straight? The automakers are wanting the taxpayers, who earn $10 an hour to pay for the health care of autoworkers who make $30 and $40 dollars an hour? Right? I’m sorry, but I “ain’t” interested in their cause.
   No more bailouts. Let the corporations practice and manage their business wisely, like the rest of us have to do.
   Uncle, I report! Don’t bail me out! Obama is going to need all the money he can get his hands on if he is to do what he says he’s going to do.